there is a reason, such as showing affection or encouraging intimacy. But that is another matter.

　　3.1.2 Physical contact

　　The appropriateness of physical contact varies with different cultures. Figures from a study offer interesting insight into this matter. Pairs of individuals sitting and chatting in college shops in different places were observed for at last one hour each. The number of times that either one touched the other in that one hour was recorded, as follows: London, 0; Gainesville, Florida, 2; Pairs, 10; San Juan, Puerto Rico, 180. These figures speak for themselves. (Robinett, 1978)

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　　In English-speaking countries, physical contact is generally avoided in conversation among ordinary friends or acquaintances. Merely touching someone may cause an unpleasant reaction. If one touches another person accidentally, he/she usually utters an apology such as “Sorry, Oh, I’m sorry, Excuse me.”

　　In China, a common complaint of western mothers is that Chinese often fondle their babies and very small children. Such behavior—whether touching, patting, hugging or kissing—can be quite embarrassing and awkward for the mothers. They know that no harm is meant, and that such gestures are merely signs of friendliness or affection, therefore they cannot openly show their displeasure. On the other hand, such actions in their own culture would be considered rude, intrusive and offensive and could arouse a strong dislike and even repugnance. So the mothers often stand by and watch in awkward silence, with mixed emotions, even when the fondling is by Chinese friends or acquaintances.

　　Going beyond the milder forms of touching, we shall take up the matter of hugging and embracing in public. This practice is fairly common among women in many countries. And in most of the more industrialized countries, it occurs frequently between husband and wife and close members of the family when meeting after a period of absence. Hugging and embracing among men, however, is a different matter. Among Arabs, Russians, French, and in several of the east European and Mediterranean countries, a warm hug and a kiss on the cheeks are a standard way of welcome. The same is true with some Latin Americans. In East Asia and in the English-speaking countries, though, the practice is seldom seen. A simple handshake is the custom. The story is told of what happened not long ago when the Japanese prime minister at the time, Mr. Fukuda, went to the U.S. on a state visit. When he stepped out of his car in front of the white house, he was greeted by the American president whit a “bear hug”. The prime minister was flabbergasted; others of the Japanese delegation were amazed; many Americans were surprised—it was so unusual and so unexpected. If the president had bowed low in Japanese fashion, it would have been less a surprise than to be greeted in a way so uncommon in either country! 　　The matter of physical contact between members of the same sex in English-speaking countries is a delicate one. Once past childhood, the holding of hands, or walking with an arm around another’s shoulder is not considered proper. The implication is homosexuality, and homosexuality generally arouses strong social disapproval in these countries.

　　3.1.3 Eye contact

　　Eye contact is an important aspect of body language. One could draw up quite a list of “rules” about eye contact: to look or not to look; when to look and how long to look; who and who not to look at. These passages from the book Body Language (Fast, 1971) are amusing as well as informative:

　　“Tow strangers seated across from each other in a railway dining car have the option of introducing themselves and facing a meal of inconsequential and perhaps boring talk, or ignoring each other and desperately trying to avoid each other’s glance. A writer, describing such a situation in an essay, wrote, ‘they re-read the menu, they fool with the cutlery, they inspect their own fingernails as if seeing them for the first time. Comes the inevitable moment when glances meet, but they meet only to shoot instantly away and out the window for an intent view of the passing scene.’ ”

　　　　“We must void staring at them, and yet we must also avoid ignoring them… We look at them long enough to make it quite clear that we see them, and then we immediately look away.

　　There are different formulas for the exchange of glances depending on where the meeting takes place. If you pass someone in the street you may eye the oncoming person till you are about eight feet apart, then you must look away as you pass. Before the eight-foot distance is reached, each will signal in which direction he will pass. This is done with a brief look in that direction. Each will veer slightly, and the passing is done smoothly.”

　　In conversations with people who know each other, however, American custom demands that there should be eye contact. This applies to both the speaker and the listener. For either one not to look at the other person could imply a number of things, among which are fear, contempt, uneasiness, guilt, indifference, even in public speaking there should be plenty of eye contact. For a speaker to “burry his nose in his manuscript”, to read a speech instead of looking at and talking to hid audience, as some Chinese speakers are in the habit of doing, would be regarded as inconsiderate and disrespectful.

　　　　In conversation, a person shows that he is listening by looking at the other person’s eyes or face. If the other person is speaking at some length, the listener will occasionally make sounds like “Hmm”, “Ummm”, or nod his head to indicate his attention. If he agrees with the speaker, he may nod or smile. If he disagrees or has some reservations, he may slant his head to one side, raise an eyebrow, have a quizzical look.

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　　Staring at people or holding a glance too long is considered improper in English-speaking countries. Even when the look may be one of appreciation—as of beauty—it may make people uneasy and embarrassed. Many Americans traveling abroad find the stares of the local people irritating. They become extremely self-conscious and often end up quite indignant about the “rudeness” of the people there, not realizing that the practice may be quite common in the country and may be nothing more than curiosity. Many English-speaking people in china have heard to complain about this.

　　“The language of the eyes”—one of the most common and ancient ways of exchanging feelings between boys and girls, men and women—is especially elaborate in the United States. Much study has been made of this: how people of the opposite sex show interest or indifference, encouragement or discouragement, approval or disapproval, affection or aversion. However, there are many differences even within the United States. Men use their eyes in different ways than women; there are differences of age, class or social status and geographical region; there are differences of ethnic background.

　　The story is told of a teenage Puerto Rican girl in a New York high school who was taken with a number of other girls to the principal for suspected smoking. Although there was no proof of any wrongdoing and although she had a good record, the principal decided she was guilty and suspended her. “There was something sly and suspicious about her,” he said in his report. “She just wouldn’t meet my eye. She wouldn’t look at me.” 　　When she was questioned by the principal it was true that she kept staring at the floor and refused to meet his eye. And in English there is a saying “Don’t trust anyone who won’t look at you in the eye.”

　　It so happened that one of the teachers had a Latin American background and knew about Puerto Rican culture. After talking with the girl’s parents, he went to the principal and explained that according to Puerto Rican culture, a good girl “does not meet the eyes of an adult.” Such behavior, he explained, “is a sign of respect and obedience.”

　　Fortunately, the principal accepted the explanation, admitted his mistake and the matter was settled properly. This difference in interpreting a simple eye gesture was a lesson in cultural diversity that he would not easily forget.

　　Rules about eye-language are numerous and complex. What has been mentioned gives a good idea of this; we shall not go further into detail.

　　3.1.4 Smiles and laughter

　　Smiles and laughter usually convey friendliness, approval, satisfaction, pleasure, joy and merriment. This is generally true in China as well as the English-speaking countries. However, there are situations when some Chinese will laugh that will cause negative reactions by westerners. To illustrate, here is an excerpt from a letter by an American to a Chinese friend on nonverbal gestures that often cause cross-cultural misunderstanding: 　　“…One is the different meaning of laughter in China and American. When an American is parking his bicycle, for example, and the bicycle accidentally falls over, he feels embarrassed at his awkwardness, and is quite angered and humiliated when Chinese onlookers laugh. I have seen the same thing happen in the dining room, when a foreigner drops a plate quite by accident and feels badly and Chinese onlookers laugh, compounding his discomfort and causing anger and bad feeling.”

　　Such laughter, of course, is not at the person or his misfortune—whether he be a foreigner or a Chinese. It can convey a number of feelings: don’t take it so seriously; laugh it off, it’s nothing; such things can happen to any of us, etc. However, for people unaware of this attitude, the reaction to such laughter is usually quite unpleasant and often generates ill feeling towards those laughing.

　　3.1.5 Gestures

　　Gestures can be particularly troublesome, for a slight diffe

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